I am not really into the mommy blogs. I think they overanalyze parenting to the point where it’s no fun. I imagine most of them have artilces like, “10 steps to get you toddler into Yale.” Gag.
I had heard of Momastery blog from Facebook posts, but I never really followed it for this reason.
Then my second mother, Oprah Winfrey — second mom because I was a latchkey kid, and Oprah was home with me every afternoon — recommended a new book, called “Love Warrior,” written by Momastery’s author, Glennon Doyle Melton.
It’s a memoir about Melton’s past addictions and her husband’s infidelity.
I have nothing in common with this woman, but something about the description of the book drew me in.
“Love Warrior is the story of one marriage, but it also the story of the healing that is possible for any of us when we refuse to settle for good enough and begin to face pain and love head-on.”
Oh heck yes. I love it when people get real and wake up. That is what I do as an organizer. I help people get real. By the time they call me, they are ready to address why they shop, why they collect, why they are attached to things more than the people in their lives.
And when we purge, it’s uncomfortable. It’s painful. It’s sad. But I explain to every client, this is not supposed to be easy. If it was, you wouldn’t need me. You need to feel these feelings if you want to change and experience true happiness.
Most people refuse to feel anything, which is why we have a pain-killer addiction and heroin epidemic in our country. It’s why people shop and shop and fill up their homes with junk. It’s why people eat. It’s why people have affairs. All, so they can remain numb and not feel the pain.
I’ve always said we need to start a “get real” revolution because I would be booked into infinity if everyone really looked at their lives and in their homes, their sanctuaries, and realized stuff does not bring them meaning or joy. It’s just filling a void they don’t want to address.
Melton is creating the “get real” revolution with this book. And I love her for it.
She was so afraid to let out the real Glennon that she hid her with alcohol, drugs and bulimia. The book is her journey to unbecoming and getting back to her core, her soul, and allowing herself to get uncomfortable for personal growth.
During the journey, Melton realizes our consumer society is poisoning us. Thank you, Glennon!
If you don’t read the book, fine. But read this passage below. I know you will relate.
It’s time for us to get real, to feel the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, to wake up to why we are constantly buying and bringing things into our home. And when you do, you will experience the happiness you are seeking.
“Most marketers need us to believe that our pain is a mistake that can be solved with their product. And so they ask, ‘Feel lonely? Feel sad? Life Hard? Well that’s not certainly because life can be lonely and sad and hard, so everybody feels that way. No it’s because you don’t have this toy, these jeans, this hair, these countertops, this ice cream, this booze, this woman…fix your hot loneliness with THIS.'”
“So we consume and consume, but it never works, because you can never get enough of what you don’t need. The world tells us a story about our hot loneliness so that we’ll buy their easy buttons forever. We accept this story as truth because we don’t realize that their story is the poison in our air. Our pain is not the poison; the lies about the pain are.”
“Craig and I have spent our lives breathing the same poisonous air. Along the way, we’ve internalized the lies: ‘You are supposed to be happy all the time! Everybody else is! Avoid the pain! You don’t need it, it’s not meant for you. Just push the button.’ Finally, I was being quiet and still enough to hear the truth: You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts, and it’s hard. Not because you are doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it. Let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.”