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Raleigh Green Gables

Organize Your Life

The Memory is not in the Stuff

December 6, 2013



I tell my clients the memory is not the in the stuff. Take a picture of it and give the item away — your mom’s lime green maternity dress she gave you, old dishes that you never use, your shoes from the third grade.

I have never, however, told anyone to give away their wedding dress unless they are divorced. It’s bad energy to keep the dress around if you are no longer married, especially if you are looking to move on.

This month, though, I was going to challenge myself and give away my wedding dress. I believe  if it’s to be, it’s up to me. In other words, if I ask clients to purge and organize, I should be able to give up stuff I no longer wear or need. (Want to know how serious I am about purging? It’s in my contract that the client must be willing to purge during our session.)

Just like Princess Di, I wanted a long train.

Just like Princess Di, I wanted a long train.

Why would I want to give away my wedding dress? I am still happily married. (Don’t worry.) We celebrated nine years last month. But the wedding dress I wore for no more than eight hours is sitting preserved in an oversized box, taking up a lot of room. I will never wear it again. And while I have a daughter, the chances of her being a munchkin like I am are slim. I am 5′. Her daddy is  6’2″. You do the math. And will she really want a dress from 2004?

Not sure what I am thinking here, but look at that dress! I loved the beaded waist line. All photos by my dear friend Roberto Westbrook!

Not sure what I am thinking here, but look at that dress! I loved the beaded waist line. All photos by my dear friend Roberto Westbrook!

I asked Jillian the intern to research where I could donate the dress. She found Wedding Dress on Call, which is a Fort Bragg-based charity that provides wedding gowns for military brides at no cost. (Love!) There is also the Mary Madeline Project, which takes used wedding dresses, bridesmaids gowns and prom dresses, and turns them into burial gowns for babies who have died (mostly premies), so grieving parents don’t have to shop for an outfit to bury their baby in. (Take a minute to cry here.)

Despite this, I just can’t seem to give away my dress yet. I loved my dress, mostly because it had a huge train, just like the dress Princess Dianawore in 1981 to marry Prince Charles. In fact, that is all I wanted for my wedding dress — a huge train just like Di’s. I loved that dress.

The train doesn't even fit under the chuppah!

The train doesn’t even fit under the chuppah!

In the Jewish tradition, the bride walks around the groom seven times. My train was so long, my mother had to carry it behind me, so I did not wrap it around my groom like a boa constrictor!

In the Jewish tradition, the bride walks around the groom seven times. My train was so long, my mother had to carry it behind me, so I did not wrap it around my groom like a boa constrictor!

I have not totally given up on the idea. I will keep thinking about it and get back to you. In the mean time, don’t fret. I am still purging clothes, toys, anything we no longer use. Because, after all, I practice what I preach.

I just love this picture!

I just love this picture!

 

 

 

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(919) 623-1160

raleighgreengables@gmail.com

Leah Friedman
Hello!
I'm a professional organizer in Raleigh, North Carolina, helping people declutter their homes and work spaces.

Testimonials

I love the way my master closet looks, and my husband is very happy, too. Thank you so much for helping me through the whole process. I still can’t believe how much work we got done.
BeckyDurham
After working with Leah Friedman, the room looked and felt calm, rather than chaotic. When I am overwhelmed again, I will certainly hire her expertise and energy. What an investment in order, calm and piece of mind!  
Lucy KeenanRaleigh
Leah Friedman turned a wretched job into fun! It’s true. She even had me laughing. She is worth every penny. We plowed through two closets. They are now nicely organized, and I know where to find my clothes. I even know what I own. Leah hauled about six bags of give-aways to Interact. I heartily recommend Leah. She gets the job done! She a combo of firm, gentle and fun. Just what I needed.
Judith TillmanRaleigh
Leah helped me to organize several spaces in my home that have been on my “to do” list for years. She arrived on time, ready to tackle the projects, and made something I dreaded doing lots of fun! She never judges, is always encouraging and gets the job done in a reasonable amount of time. I highly recommend her!
Anne ShermanChapel Hill

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